SeeUs: Women Take a Stand on HIV

Have you ever felt invisible?

Have you ever had something happen to you, you looked for help and could not find anything useful?

Have you ever felt isolated because those you thought could help you, have no idea of even where to start?

Have you ever wanted to express something going on with you medically but didn't have the right words or confidence to utilize your voice on your health?

If you are a woman living with HIV, recently diagnosed or living with it for any amount of time, and you answered yes to any of those questions...and you still feel this way...let me show you how you can take a stand. I've been there, so I understand how it feels and I am confident that these tools I'm sharing with you will help point you in the right direction.

So considering that globally 49% of all adults living with HIV are women, I believe it's critical to address that these women have access to treatment, engage with their medical support in ensuring their specific health needs are addressed and reducing the stigma associated with HIV/AIDS in their community. One way to do this is to use the newly released dialogue tools provided by IAPAC, AbbVie and this awesome team of women I had the honor to work with. Together, a campaign was developed called "SeeUS: Women Take a Stand on HIV" and you can read all about it at IAPAC's microsite. 

What's unique about these tools is that there is also a set for physicians and all downloads are available in SEVEN different languages for various parts of the world. To support this initiative with a woman in your life that is living with HIV, share the link provided above, use the hashtag #WomenOfHIV and help empower them to use their voice to take a stand on HIV...let them be seen, let them be heard!

Month of Gratitude: Travel

I am thankful all 365 days of the year but during this #MonthOfGratitude I will be narrowing it down and sharing with you all things I am grateful for! Since there are 26 letters of the alphabet and Thanksgiving is on November 27, this is how it goes: 

Post something you're grateful for that begins with each letter of the alphabet each day leading to Thanksgiving. It's a great way to focus on the blessings in your life and not the stresses of the holiday season!

I am grateful for travel! 

Some people go visit family and friends during the holiday season. Some people take much needed vacations. By nature I am a homebody and prefer not to be in crowds, so navigating airports and train stations, highways and gas stations during this time of the year is something I keep to a minimum. As for other times of the year, I love to be in an airport, flying from point A to point B, moving around and getting to be in places in a fraction of the time. It's one of the reasons I love the work I do. I never know where it's going to take me. I have only visited 15 states and 2 countries in my 32 years, so I have a lot of work to do! I would love to have visited all 50 states by the time I'm 45 and at least 10 more countries by the time I'm 50. I've been flying since before I was born. My dad is a flight attendant for United Airlines and it's just been a way of life for me from a young age. I am grateful for his lifestyle in his career because it has exposed me and prepared me to be ready for travel newbies, have patience with crowds and pack with flair in the smallest of suitcases for three days! 

Aside from traveling for pleasure, I find travel amazing in cases of emergency. You have a sick aunt five hundred miles from you? Catch a plane and be by her side in two or three hours opposed to the 8 it would take you to drive, plus fuel, tolls, gas, patience, etc. In the hospital for a organ transplant? They can fly your organ from another part of the country in life-saving minutes! See Denzel Washington in John Q. 


Don't get me wrong though, I'm all for a road trip. Fill the car to the max with all your necessities and plug in the GPS...or not and through inhibition to the wind. Just drive! Being able to take your time and stop to see sights is a wonder I enjoy. Give me fuel, a radio and a Big Gulp, it's bliss!

What are your travel plans this holiday? What's the most stressful thing you avoid when traveling? What is your must have for packing?

Month of Gratitude - Sleep

I am thankful all 365 days of the year but during this #MonthOfGratitude I will be narrowing it down and sharing with you all things I am grateful for! Since there are 26 letters of the alphabet and Thanksgiving is on November 27, this is how it goes: 

Post something you're grateful for that begins with each letter of the alphabet each day leading to Thanksgiving. It's a great way to focus on the blessings in your life and not the stresses of the holiday season! 

So this post is a day late BECAUSE of it's topic. I am grateful to the highest heavens for #Sleep!!! Yesterday I attended the ADAP (AIDS Drug Assistance Program) Workgroup meeting. Many changes in healthcare are on the horizon, state by state... and Florida, we have a lot of work to do! There was robust conversation, my wheels were turning at 100 mph, and my calendar suddenly filled with more conference calls, meetings and webinars in that 6 hour timespan. I'm grateful for the opportunities to be more involved as an advocate, but the way my inspiration is set up...sleep is important on so many levels.

Then, I'm involved with a girls ministry through my church. Their energy alone and desire to serve Christ fills me and drains me all in the same day. I spent my evening with them after the ADAP meeting. Let's just say my eyes were crossed by the time I got home. 

Oh and let's not forget about my family. I love them. I will do anything for them. So if mom needs to go to the grocery store, I am there. If my sister needs a ride to work 2:00 in the morning, I'm there. If my nephew needs a ride to the airport, I got him. This is why I love the work I do because I can weave in helping my family in between trying to save the world. And then there's coffee.

But when I have a day where there is nothing written on my calendar and my daughter is gone to school...and my husband is busy doing random things...there's this thing I love called a nap. I don't take regular ol' cat naps either. I prepare and equip. 
Thermal blanket? Check. Comfy pillow? Check. Eye mask? Where's my eye mask???? Oh, under the pillow. Check and check. Alarm set? Nope. Check. Ringer off? Check. Door and blinds closed? Check. Deeply snuggled fetal position on my left side with arm hooked under comfy pillow and thermal blanket pulled directly under my right ear? CHECK. Head snuggle pillow...zzzzzZZZZZZZ.

I don't take naps, I own them. Sleep to me is not only essential but a hobby. I can't do it often, but when I do, I'm all in! What do you do to prepare for naps? What causes you to need one? 

Focus. Partner. Achieve...UNAIDS releases Fast Track Report

"The world is embarking on a Fast-Track strategy to end the AIDS epidemic by 2030. To reach this visionary goal after three decades of the most serious epidemic in living memory, countries will need to use the powerful tools available, hold one another accountable for results and make sure that no one is left behind." From UNAIDS, 2014 "Fast Track" report. 

The 40 page document was released Nov. 18 at UCLA and included a forum where UNAIDS Executive Director Michel Sidibé shared the detailed strategy and his vision that will take how AIDS is addressed, treated and de-stigmatized throughout every nation impacted by the epidemic and decrease infections, eliminate discrimination and empower nations to thrive.  It's properly titled "Fast Track". 

It's not just graphs and statistics, it's precise information that will hold nations accountable on an ambitious level to their response to the impact of HIV/AIDS. This initiative seeks to improve that response from this point forward, consistently and in unity. It's like a senior in high school, bringing up his 3.9 GPA to become valedictorian. It's not impossible, but it's going to take all hands on deck, compassion, aggressive resourcefulness, and consistent momentum. Or SMART goals on steroids, in my opinion.

I believe we can do it. I'm all about accountability and progression - not blame game and moving forward while others suffer. The consequences completely overwhelm the benefits of us not collectively working together on this #FastTrack. But if we elevate our awareness to the needs of all, a 95% decrease of infections by 2030 will be a great achievement of epic proportions. This year's World AIDS Day theme is "Focus. Partner. Achieve: An AIDS Free Generation". I believe that UNAIDS is leading the charge with this call to action in this report. Time will tell, and I want to be on the frontline, not the sideline. Will you join?

To read more about the World AIDS Day report, visit UNAIDS website http://www.unaids.org/en/resources/documents/2014/JC2686_WAD2014report. 

What does a generation without AIDS look like to you? 

Month of Gratitude: Rent (not what you think)

I am thankful all 365 days of the year but during this #MonthOfGratitude I will be narrowing it down and sharing with you all things I am grateful for! Since there are 26 letters of the alphabet and Thanksgiving is on November 27, this is how it goes: 

Post something you're grateful for that begins with each letter of the alphabet each day leading to Thanksgiving. It's a great way to focus on the blessings in your life and not the stresses of the holiday season! 

A couple of weeks ago, I was invited by my specialty care physician to attend the showing of RENT! at Florida Southern College. What was unique about this showing was that it was the School of Nursing and Theater that put on the production. I was intrigued. Mostly because I had never seen RENT! and I was touched that my physician thought so highly of my advocacy work that she invited me. At the time she didn't know the details of dates or times, so I didn't think much else of it.

Until two days later, I was with my daughter at her youth leadership team meeting and the director mentioned she knew someone at Florida Southern College who would like for me to attend the showing of RENT! at the Festival of FIne Arts, by her nursing students. I smiled inwardly because God was obviously orchestrating things and I needed to be there.

So, I went. I brought my 11 year old daughter and 9 year old niece. This wasn't planned, but I was rolling with it. I have to watch it again for some things to make sense (I'm a detail-oriented person, but respond emotionally), and I should have written this the night I saw it. I loved it! I loved it to the point that three things came from it:

• I want to learn to tango
• I must learn the words to every.single.song
• I'm in love with the cast at Florida Southern College. They're vocals were astounding!

Having purposefully never read anything about the production, I did correctly predict who would die though. I didn't predict that even after that scene there would be more tears. The best part was getting to meet the cast afterwards during the reception dinner and being able to share what my life has been like with HIV compared to the portrayal of AIDS in the show. They were warm and kind, which I felt was so sweet because I know they were exhausted and full since we dined on the best lasagna I'd had in my life. 

I'm grateful for this specifically because I got a glimpse into what was created to be a statement and has now become a consensus for people experiencing challenges in love, life and living. I'm grateful because HIV/AIDS isn't on a AZT timer anymore, that housing for people with HIV/AIDS isn't such a struggle (still exists), and that through being entertained, people can become educated, challenged to think outside the norm, their comforts and forced to sing catchy songs about real-life situations they may know nothing about, but will subconsciously always remember. My night watching RENT! was probably one of the best I've had all year long. I want to go to another showing alone, with closer seats and another chance to meet with the cast. Call me obsessed or call me a Rent-head.

Have you seen it? What did you think? What else are you thankful for that starts with the letter "R"? 

Month of Gratitude: Quiet

I am thankful all 365 days of the year but during this #MonthOfGratitude I will be narrowing it down and sharing with you all things I am grateful for! Since there are 26 letters of the alphabet and Thanksgiving is on November 27, this is how it goes: 

Post something you're grateful for that begins with each letter of the alphabet each day leading to Thanksgiving. It's a great way to focus on the blessings in your life and not the stresses of the holiday season! 

So with the stresses of the holiday season, come much needed moments of quiet. I don't mean lock yourself in the bathroom and play Candy Crush quiet. I mean, leave, go somewhere that is always quiet and be purposefully quiet as well. I lack this. Except when I'm at the beach. Even though there's the sounds of the ocean, birds, people...it all blends into one sound for me and it's so calming that it becomes quiet. That's the stuff. 

I'm grateful for quiet because in stressful times it does three things:

• Give me an opportunity to pray and listen (especially if I'm seeking strength and patience)
• Give me the opportunity to calm down
• Allow me the opportunity evaluate what positive route to take

Quiet also cues me to realize if my reaction to a situation was due to being tired and then I pay attention and respect what my body is telling me and I go lay down. No questions, no excuses, no arguments, I take a kiddie nap and regroup.

I think I have a different level of desire to be quiet. Loud, random noises irk me to no end. If I'm in a room of the house and it's been quiet for an extended amount of time and I suddenly hear someone watching a video on their phone or playing a game, I become uncomfortable. My ears literally hurt and I tend to be unpleasant for no reason. It's because my inner quiet has been disturbed and I wasn't expecting it. Now, don't get me wrong, phones ringing, a baby crying, things like that don't bother me. Manufactured noises that are repetitive make me want to body slam kittens. 

I've also noticed when my quiet is disturbed, that inner core of "Shhhh" that I hold on to is hard to get back and I can be off for a minute until I either give into it (which then distracts me from whatever task I was completing) or I snap at the person causing the noise (which then throws me into a cycle of debating an apology or justifying why they should get over it). Either way, no work gets done, no one's at peace and the quiet that now exists is very unhealthy.

So I have learned to maintain the quiet I so desperately covet, I have to create it and respect it where it is, expect it to leave and experience the moment for what it is when I lose it.

What do you do to maintain quiet when you're stressed? Is quiet something that is important to you? What are you thankful for that starts with "Q"? It was this, or quizzes for me.

Month of Gratitude: Pinterest & Patience

November has proven to not feel like November in Florida. Like, the high today will be 81 degrees, with a thunderstorm and a low of 54 degrees. My prediction is the first half of Tuesday will actually feel like it's November. What's creepy is as I typed this, the clouds covered the sun, the room grew dark and a crow cawed in the distance. Ok, the last part is a huge stretch of my imagination, but the moment felt so Edgar Alan Poe, I had to go there! Regardless, it's fall and the countdown to Thanksgiving at my house has become the alarm clock! 13 more days! 12 more days!! 11 more days!!! We have some friends coming into visit and while my house isn't decorated the way I'd envisioned, it's definitely going to feel like home when it's filled with the laughter and memories. 

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on gratefulness. I am thankful all 365 days of the year but during this #MonthOfGratitude I will be narrowing it down and sharing with you all things I am grateful for! Since there are 26 letters of the alphabet and Thanksgiving is on November 27, this is how it goes: 

Post something you're grateful for that begins with each letter of the alphabet each day leading to Thanksgiving. It's a great way to focus on the blessings in your life and not the stresses of the holiday season! 

So, today I am thankful for #patience & #Pinterest. I wouldn't normally do two things in one day, but they go so well together! Let me explain. 

We recently had our house built and it has been a dream come true. I never thought I'd be a homeowner. I never thought I'd have space to garden, or something bigger than a debit card in my own name. Being married for almost 3 years, my husband and I have had some struggles. Our victories outweigh the struggles, but they were difficult nevertheless. I will have a lifetime to fill our home with decorations that speak to who we are as a family and to do that I have to remember to have #patience. Patience with our bank account, the hours we work, the hours I travel, the time it takes to do the projects I want to do, just overall patience. I have a vision for our home. I have color schemes and specific pieces of furniture that will be useful, and a place that will be filled with warmth, love, blessings. I just don't have the funds to make it happen all at once! So, since I'm not a window shopper, I am thankful for #Pinterest! I have pinned so many things and have actually used a few to give our home a sense of individuality. This Thanksgiving, I will be using tips I read about to make serving people easier, I discovered posts that speak to me being an #INFJ and that will help with the stress of the holidays...I just love Pinterest. The more I pin, the more patience I have. My house will be Good Housekeeping worthy soon...soon. 

^^^Unless I win the lottery, then I would buy all the things I pinned and pin some more. 

What are you thankful for that starts with "P"? If you have a Pinterest, what's your favorite thing to pin? Have life improved because of pinning? 

Month of Gratitude: Democracy to Online Classes

So I'm more of a once a month blogger. There I said it. I've missed a week or so of posting my month of gratefulness items. Determined to complete my goal of posting, I will do a condensed catch-up version from the 4th of November until the 15th, letters D through O. This is gonna be a long one, so I'm grateful that you're taking the time to read this far. For those of you just getting to know me, this is a great way to see my many layers! Let's go!

You can find my other posts with the hashtag #MonthOfGratefulness

D is for democracy. We recently had our mid-term elections and I had the pleasure of being a precinct book inspector with my mom at our precinct here in Florida. While that day didn't turn out the way I would've liked and the officials that won were not my first choice, the process of democracy is one that I am incredibly grateful for. Everyone is not so fortunate. While its been a frustrating process because with every form of leadership and power there is always the opportunity for corruption and greed; and for the people who need help the most are overlooked - but the most beautiful thing of democracy is that you have the power to use your voice!

There's a choice you make to either vote or not vote. I have a legacy of people in my family that marched, fought and died for me to able to exercise my right and privilege to vote. I'm a firm believer in if you don't vote you don't have a right to complain about things being the way they are. The other thing about democracy is that it doesn't just start with or end with the voting process. Even if you're elected officials aren't who you want them to be, you have the opportunity to develop a relationship with them and let them know your issues and causes that you are concerned about. If they seem opposed in helping, take the time to educate them on why they should see your side. You have the power of influence and I will be blogging on that more later. I am grateful that even when I'm not confident in my ability to influence, I live in a country that allows me to use it anyway. 

E is for espresso!!! I don't even know where to begin... First, I'm so American, so I've only had the real cup of espresso once and I thought I was licking the bottom of a coffee pot. It was strong!! Needless to say, I only had two sips. So, I came across a gas station that carries these little cups that look like creamer, but it's espresso shots! I grab a handful from time to time and drop one of those bad boys in a cup of Maxwell house and I'm in heaven!! I just love coffee. It's weird because this love has only been a two and a half year thing. My husband got a keurig and I was amazed at how wonderful coffee smelled and that creamer came in all sorts of flavors that one thing led to another...

F is for friends. I have a small circle of friends and I'm very careful who I actually call a friend. I am friendly to everyone, but only a few get to actually say that they are my true blue friend. I am grateful for them because some recognize when I'm pulling into my #INFJ shell a little too tight, and they lovingly find what I need to come out of it while giving me my space   My true friends don't always know what I need or how they can help, but they ask. And they don't take it personally if I don't answer. My friends understand that I will pray for you one minute and be ready to rip one ones throat out for you the next. They know I can laugh one second and be 400 degrees angry the next, and it usually has nothing to do with them. And they give me space. I love my friends and I love my space. Those that know the balance of that and can still love me, are my true blue friends and I'm grateful for that. 

G is for Geneva. Yes, as in Switzerland. There's not a lot to the city - watches, the Alps, chocolate, and a lake. That's if you're a tourist. But for a traveler that enjoys the beauty of people, the richness of history and the enchantment of culture, Geneva is a heavenly place. I recently got to experience her beauty on my 32nd birthday. I was working, but my colleagues surprised me with a cake while we had our dinner on Lake Geneva. Hands down, the most beautiful birthday ever. 

H is for Habitat for Humanity. My husband and I recently were blessed to complete their homeowner program and on July 11, 2014, we officially signed the papers and moved into new, safe and affordable home. Through HFH, I made some amazing friends, gained a circle of influence from women who run things in my county and built my own house!! There is no other feeling than being able to put the frame up on your own home, touch the walls and know that hands and hearts that sacrificed their time to help put a roof over your head. Our last year in the program was an exceptionally difficult one and without Habitat, I know that we'd either be homeless right now or be in a huge amount of debt. God blessed us to be able to qualify, meet all the requirements, make our down payment and fall in love with our community one nail at a time! Now, Pinterest and Michael's has become my friend!

I is for ice. Yes, I'm serious. I have an affinity for fountain beverages. Not healthy, but we're not going to discuss that right now. I prefer my fountain beverages to be in a tumbler or styrofoam cup (not Eco-friendly 24/7 either, but...). This preference is all in my head but something about hearing my ice in my drink makes it taste better. I think it's because I was born in Arizona and ice just doesn't last in a cup there. I used to chew ice but my teeth have become too sensitive now. I don't know about other places, but hospital ice is the business too. I think it's because they don't use hard water. Sonic restaurant comes into a close second. The weirdest part is, the colder it is outside, the more I want a big cup of whatever with ice in it...and I hate being cold.  I think I'm related to Olaf from Frozen.

J is for jeans. Like... All kinds of jeans. I just love them. No matter what trend is in style, they just make a statement. 

When worn for your body type. 

Flare jeans were my go-to in middle and high school. I see that acid wash jeans are making a comeback from my childhood, including the rips and holes. Not sure how I feel about it because,,, you know, body type. And give a good dark wash jean jacket to accessorize with a scarf and dress... #OOTD winning!!

K is for Kleenex. I should invest in some stock in the company that makes it. I recently found it wise to watch The Best Man Holiday finally since I missed it when it was in theaters and was told I'd probably cry. No spoilers for those that haven't seen it, but not only did I cry, I snort-slobbed into a ball of emotions that were already heightened because I had chose to also watch The Fault in our Stars prior to. 

 So yeah... All the feels that ever felt like feeling worse than they felt about feeling is in this movie. 

L is for lipstick. I've always believed that no matter how unpretty you feel, sometimes a little color on the lips is all you need to brighten your day, or at least make you smile when you look in the mirror. I've recently become more interested in various shades because of some posts I saw by my beautiful friends on Facebook. The #NoBareLips30 was started by Keiko Kaveri and after seeing all her posts on her Instagram, I didn't want to be left out...then the universe saw my attempt to match shades to my skin tone there are now 2 ULTA stores in my county!!!

So this girl is stocking up so I'll be ready for next year's challenge. I don't do this for vanity by any means, but there are such stupid unspoken rules of what Black women can and cannot do/wear/say/feel/love, etc. that this challenge just speaks to the barrier of LOVE YOU, DO YOU. And we can see that mainstream Hollywood is catching on now that Shonda Rhimes is dominating primetime television and knocking down misconceptions of Black women AND the beautiful Lupita Nyong'o is representing in all shades of awesome! I digress...

M is for mammograms. We have just come out of Breast Cancer Awareness month. I received an email reminder to wish a friend happy birthday

Barbie, as she was affectionately called, died May 2009 from breast cancer. She had the aggressive HER-2 gene and her battle was incredibly rough. But she never complained, never gave up. She left behind two beautiful sons. As a woman living with HIV, I am always concerned about comorbidities, specifically ones that impact women. Breast cancer is something I've asked to be screened for even though I have no signs and I'm "too young" as I've been told by physicians. Trust me, I'm not looking for cancer. But I want to know what is going on at all times, so I have a fighting chance. To all the women (and men) that have been impacted by breast cancer, to those that have lost loved ones, to those that are fighting on even now...I know that your life is more than a pink ribbon. I know that your fight goes on even after the ribbons unravel and the yogurt cups expire. I pray for you all daily, I pray for us all that we will find a cure for cancer. 

N is for nappy hair. I decided to cut my hair off right after my 30th birthday, six months into my marriage, all for the sake of saving money and saving my child's self-esteem. Prior to my wedding, I got my first ever sew-in because I was going to be traveling a bit afterwards and knew I wouldn't have the funds to keep up with my relaxer touch-up appointments like I wanted. Three months after the wedding, I removed the sew-in, washed, and flat-ironed my hair. I was not impressed but I fought with it. My daughter came inside from playing with the neighbors one day and begged me to let her go swimming. I had just done her hair. For moms with little girls that rock ethnic hair, you KNOW the struggle of once it gets wet, it's over. I refused to let her go because the kids played rough and I knew there would be no saving her 'do. She sulked away, mumbling, "I wish I were White, then I could swim everyday." This statement didn't surprise me, but it broke my heart because at the exact same age, for a very similar reason, I thought the same thing. I pulled her into her room and sat her down. I told her she was beautiful. I told her Mommy's hair is just like yours. I told her God created her and He makes no mistakes. She gave me the blank stare. That's when I knew all this talk meant nothing. I had to up the ante. My husband unknowingly fueled the fire for me to feel bold enough to make the statement I made to my daughter when he complimented my hair pre-blow dry. He was like, "I like the curly thing you've got going". He sincerely thought I was wearing my hair like that on purpose. I reflected on that then told my daughter, "I'll prove it to you. I will cut off my hair and let it grow back from scratch. You'll see." And I did. And I was terrified. Then, I fell in love and I will never, ever, ever go back to chemicals and have yet to touch heat to my hair. When my baby saw me in my natural state, I saw the societal blinders of misconstrued acceptance fall off. She loves herself, her best friend rocks natural hair and my little girl feels pretty. The struggle to maintain a style though...that's another blog, another day.

O is for online classes. I'm the Queen of Procrastination-dale. I live there and sometimes I reign over battles between waiting because I'm scared, or waiting because the timing just ain't right. This ties into my #INFJ-ness again. So, online classes help me in that. It prevents me from the guilt I feel when I arrive to class late...because I will. It helps me make my own hours to do my work so I'm not constrained to drive to class, and forced to my work in one sitting. I'm grateful for not being forced into face-to-face interactions when I do that on a regular basis with my work and just need a break sometimes. Online classes are the best. I get to wear what I want, drink and eat during class, play Candy Crush during a presentation, hit pause during said presentation because I have to go check the mail or pick baby girl up from the bus stop. The #YASSSness of online classes just never ends. I'm just ready to be done though. Like for reals,  I have 30ish more credits I need before I graduate. Pray for me. 

So that's all that I have for now...tomorrow is the letter "P"...

Prayer, popcorn, pumpkin spice latte, pajamas, pretezels, pizza, pasta, porta potty's...so many "P"...

What are you thankful for?

Month of Gratitude: Christ

The temperature is cooking for Florida and it's perfect. Perfect for chili, cute coats, and definitely coffee! All of these things make me thankful for warmth this season. I am thankful all 365 days of the year but during this #MonthOfGratitude I will be narrowing it down and sharing with you all things I am grateful for! Since there are 26 letters of the alphabet and Thanksgiving is on November 27, this is how it goes: 

Post something you're grateful for that begins with each letter of the alphabet each day leading to Thanksgiving. It's a great way to focus on the blessings in your life and not the stresses of the holiday season! 

While I am thankful for the outer garments of warmth and delicious bowls full of warmth, there's another type of warmth that I feel year round. It comes from the inside and nothing in this world can provide it or take it away. 

For me, that is the warmth from knowing I am loved. Not just conditional, family oriented love or take me for my flaws and put a ring on it love, but an ending unchanging love that existed before I was born. That love comes from none other but Jesus Christ. I don't always understand how I can be loved by someone I reject in how I treat others, or how I can be loved by someone I've never physically seen, but when I've been at my lowest, when my daughter smiles at me after her fever breaks from the flu, when someone tells me they got tested or started using condoms because they heard my story of living with HIV, I honestly feel Jesus' love. It's through these things comes a warmth of compassion when I can choose chaos, gentleness when I can choose to grieve, love, when I can choose hate. 

To know that before I was created, I was created in the image of the same God that created the heavens, was loved eventhough this same all-knowing God knew I'd sin and reject Him, and that she sent His only son to die for my sins just because He loves me... Blows my mind. There is no other God in all the religions I've studied that sent a part of themselves from the throne, to accompany His creation made by dust, to live among us in our hatred, greed, hurt, sickness and evil. No other God I know that took time to impart a face to face interaction with His creation and then die for that same creation, inviting them the opportunity to receive salvation by simply accepting Him. 

And because I have found no other (and honestly not looking), I have this inner warmth and am grateful for my Christ that loves me and loves you too. 

Month of Gratitude: Breakfast

November is becoming my favorite month of the year, aside from my birthday month in June. I am thankful all 365 days of the year but during this #MonthOfGratitude I will be narrowing it down and sharing with you all things I am grateful for! Since there are 26 letters of the alphabet and Thanksgiving is on November 27, this is how it goes: 

Post something you're grateful for that begins with each letter of the alphabet each day leading to Thanksgiving. It's a great way to focus on the blessings in your life and not the stresses of the holiday season! 

So, today I am thankful for #breakfast. It's my favorite meal and the most important. The weird thing is, I don't eat it when I'm supposed to. I usually make breakfast for dinner. Omeletts, especially. I also have the habit of eating leftovers for breakfast. Especially pizza. Something about cold pizza and hot coffee sets me on the right track to a great day. 

The one breakfast item that I haven't tried but want to soon, is quiche. I think I've eaten one, but I want to learn how to make one. Any great recipes would be appreciated. 

I think my love for breakfast started in childhood. I wasn't your usual cereal and milk child. I actually ate that for dinner. I'm an INFJ, I can't help it. Anyway, my grandmother wasn't the fanciest cook, but she was a southern cook and when she made grits, it was never just grits. There was sausage, eggs, toast, biscuits or flatbread, and on a god day we'd have hash brown. She made corn beef hash sometimes, but I never could stomach it. Anyway, there was an art to eating this spread and it usually involved mixing your favorite items into your grits. That was the life and to this day, no matter what, if I have grits and eggs, the two must be combined. 

When she passed in 2006, one way of grieving was to cook this and eat it just like she did. I could feel her there, wiping down the kitchen counters with bleach and fussing about how slow I eat. I was just savoring your work Janma. 

Ahh, here's to breakfast. Whether it's a smoothie, a protein bar, a four egg omelette or just a simple bowl of cereal... Eat up, be thankful for a start to your day and a full stomach!

The Light at the End of the Awareness Ribbon

Now that October is over, for many there is no need to recognize pink ribbons for Breast Cancer Awareness month. They've packed away their posters, ribbons and donation cups until next year. The same goes for another group of individuals for Domestic Violence Awareness month is also recognized in the month of October with purple ribbons.  

However, both of these groups of survivors, loved ones remembered and current victims live with the constant reminder of why an awareness month even exists, in their lives daily. October or not, women are still diagnosed with breast cancer and purple ribbons seen or not, countless women and men will continue to be abused by their loved ones. 

One woman I have had the blessing to get to know, is one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. Her smile comforts, her eyes blaze courage and when she speaks, you are changed. She recently shared her story of domestic violence on Facebook. I've asked her permission to share it because no matter what month it is, someone needs to know there's hope for them. 

I introduce Miss Mary Bowman, nationally recognized spoken word artist, HIV advocate and survivor through perinatal transmission, woman, daughter...just, Mary...

"For #DomesticViolenceAwareness month I've decided to share my story... I don't think I've ever shared this story publicly.

In 2007 I was physically attacked by my father. The attack was followed by a discussion that went horribly wrong. In my telling of this story I am realizing my urge to excuse my father's behavior by saying that he suffered from PTSD and that my teenage vernacular did not ease the situation. I think about how many women excuse the abusers and think of ways it may have been their own fault that caused the countless incidents. But the truth of the matter is my father beat me as if I was a stranger on the street that owed him money. When I looked to my family for support I was met with accusations against me. When the cops arrived there wasn't much dialogue. All they needed to see was the blood running from my face and my swollen eyes. I had him arrested. In the morning while gathering clothes from my house to leave, My mother walked through the door and in followed my father. I couldn't believe it. I felt betrayed. I left. Days later my father's lawyer called me and encouraged me not to go to court and gave me a list of reasons why. It became clear that everyone was more concerned about the well being of my abuser than me, the victim. 

Long story short... My mother who witnessed the whole incident was devastated and very apologetic about what happened. She pleaded with me not to send my father to jail. My father's health was declining rapidly and of course she knew that they wouldn't take care of him the way she would at home. So I caved, I didn't show up in court. I stayed quiet. My family went on the way we usually do... Nobody talked about it much. The thing that bothers me most about this is that nobody asked me how I felt. Nobody asked me about me and I was the one that had wear a face of shame everyday in the public. My face took a while to go back to normal. I am typically understood to be a chill individual that doesn't fight, so to see my face look as badly as it did brought on a lot of questions. I cried a lot. I hated my father for what he did. 

I eventually moved passed what happened to me almost 7 years ago. My father has passed away since then. My family still doesn't really talk about what happened to me. 

I shared this story because I just realized that I am now 1 in 4 women that will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. I am a woman that made excuses for the abuser. I am a woman who loves her father and didn't know what else to do. Think about the other women who deal with domestic violence everyday. Their abusers are fathers, boyfriends, husbands, partners, brothers, uncles...etc. Please help me raise awareness for domestic violence. And let's continue awareness past October!!!"

For more about Mary, visit www.justmarybowman.com 

For more information on Domestic Violence, please visit The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence at www.ncadv.org

If you or someone you know needs help, please reach out. There's no shame in asking for help. Call 1-800-799-7233. 

Month of Gratitude: Advocates

I miss this opportunity every year and while I am thankful every single day for multiple things, I find it inspiring to focus on one thing a day that I am thankful for, especially during the month of November which is our traditional month for Thanksgiving. So during this #MonthOfGratitude I will be sharing with you all things I am grateful for! Since there are 26 letters of the alphabet and Thanksgiving is on November 27, this is how it goes:

Post something you're grateful for that begins with each letter of the alphabet each day leading to Thanksgiving. It's a great way to focus on the blessings in your life and not the stresses of the holiday season! 

I'm going to start with Advocacy! I'm grateful for the people who have hearts and passion to speak for others that are unable. While I am an HIV advocate, inspired and motivated by courageous and beautiful people, I also think of our veterans, children needing quality education, the homeless and hungry, abused and neglected children, domestic violence, gender equality, different-abled individuals, incarcerated men and women, victims of gun violence, missing and exploited elderly...the list goes on and on of people that need someone to stand for them. I am grateful that for every evil in this world, there's someone willing to speak and fight for the rights of those that are denied a suitable quality of life and opportunity for abundant living. I am grateful that advocates sacrifice a part of themselves and deal with things that either indirectly or directly impact them. Advocates have a passion and empathy that changes the world and for that, I am thankful.

Have you had the chance to speak up for someone that couldn't speak for themselves?

Have you had someone fight for you? 

If you're looking for a way to get involved with advocacy, the first step is to simply speak your issue, share with loved ones or contact me and I will definitely link you to someone! Be someone's reason to be thankful!