HIV 101: Keeping the Youth Alive

WHAT IS HIV?

It's the Human Immunodefciency Virus - that causes AIDS.

WHO HAS HIV?

People infected with the virus carry it forever and can transmit it to others through their blood, semen, vaginal fluids and breast milk.

HOW IS HIV SPREAD?

HIV can be contracted through the above described methods by having vaginal, oral or anal sex unprotected; sharing needles to shoot drugs, giving tattoos or piercings (or any other reasons) with another person who is infected with HIV; and lastly can be transmitted from a mother who is infected with HIV to her baby before, during or after birth (through breastfeeding).

BUT CAN'T I GET HIV FROM MOSQUITOES?

You cannot get infected with the HIV virus from sitting next to someone who is infected, shaking their hands or giving them a hug. You cannot get it from dry or social kissing*, using restrooms, water fountains, or telephones after a person who is infected. Eating in the same restaurant, swimming in a pool or using a hot tub, bug bites, and giving blood are also not ways you can get HIV. *Kissing can spread other STD/STI's (Sexuall Transmitted Diseases or Infections), such as herpes. Call the CDC National STD and AIDS Hotlines for more information at 800-227-8922.

WHAT DOES HIV DO?

HIV weakens an infected person's immune system which makes it easier to become ill with other ailments and infections. As the immune systme weakens and an infected person is not seeking consistent medical care or adhering to medication or treatment, they can then develop AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome) or become "full blown". Sadly, for now, HIV and AIDS are a fact of life that cannot be eliminated, and is eliminating people we love.

AM I AT RISK?

Every 9.5 minutes, someone in the United States is infected with HIV. Anyone who comes in contact with an infected person's blood, semen, breast milk, or vaginal fluids in an open source is at risk for contracting HIV. The riskiest behaviors in contracting the virus are sharing needles to use drugs, receptive anal intercourse, and vaginal intercourse. HIV/AIDS knows no age, gender, ethnicity, class, height, lifestyle or religion. It is simply a disease that there is no cure for. It is however; statistically higher in youth and black heterosexual women.

Why are the youth more at risk?

Many young people have begun to or are approaching the age where they are preparing to leave home for college or planning for the future to live on their own, gaining independance and are meeting a lot of new people that will influence their decisions. Many of them are not physically, emotionally, or sexually mature in their growth to reach these new levels. College life offers more opportunities to develop sexual relationships as the students are around many like themselves who may be away from home for the first time.

HOW WILL I KNOW SOMEONE IS INFECTED?

You cannot tell by looking at someone if they are infected with HIV or not. A person can look and feel fine but still be infected with HIV. Many people who are infected are on a medical treatment to where the viral load in their immune system is undetectable; meaning there are fewer copies of the virus in the blood than the tests can measure. While undetectable, a person can still have high measures of the virus in their semen and vaginal fluids and they can still pass it to someone in unprotected sex or sharing needles. The only true way to know if someone is infected is to get tested! Anonymous and/or confidential testing for HIV is offered by many medical clinics. Keep in mind that test results may not indicate that a person is HIV-positive until six months or more after infection which is called a "window period".

WHAT IS THE SAFEST WAY TO AVOID GETTING HIV/AIDS?

The safest way to avoid many things that anyone may not be mature enough to handle including unwanted pregnancy, std/sti's, hiv/aids, broken hearts due to lack of trust, etc is to simply abstain from having sex. Many people choose this as a part of their lifestyle whether it be for personal, religious or health reasons. It is a choice made by those that realize sex is not a "must" or a rite of passage to experience things in life. One thing that a lot of people don't understand about abstinence is that even if you've engaged in sex in the past, you can still make the choice to abstain and wait until you know you are ready - preferably when you are in a committed, monogomous relationship like marriage.

Many couples decide together to abstain which helps strengthen their relationship, build self-respect and open opportunities to really get to know each other beyond physical satisfaction. It is easier to make this decision early in the relationship before things get to a point where it becomes difficult to say no.

WHAT IF THAT DOESN'T WORK?

If you do choose to have sex, have SAFE sex! That doesn't just begin with a condom, it begins with being honest with your partner, remaining faithful to one another and refrain from shooting up drugs. Just one time is all it takes to be infected with HIV and other STD's.

BUT I ALWAYS USE CONDOMS, SO I'M SAFE RIGHT?

Condoms are NOT always 100% effective and the packaging clearly tells you that. When used properly, condoms can help protect you and your partner against HIV and other STD's as well as unwanted pregnancy; however... CERTAIN STDs CAN STILL BE SPREAD BY CONTACT WITH INFECTED AREAS THAT ARE NOT COVERED BY A CONDOM!! (See Genital Herpes Transmission).

HOW DO I USE A CONDOM PROPERLY?

First, discuss condom use before you have sex with your partner and agree that you will use them with every sexual encounter properly. This will also help you avoid any scare trips to the doctor due to being allergic to certain types of condoms.

Video: How to Put On A Condom

• Health officials encourage you to use a male latex condom for each seperate act of vaginal, anal or oral sex; however if you cannot use a male latex condom, there are condoms for females as well.
• Read the labels and instructions on the packaging carefully!
• Check the expiration date.
• Check the individually wrapped condom for a pocket of air inside. The condom wrapper should feel as though there is air inside, not flat.
• Use a water based lubricant for vaginal and anal sex. Never use condoms with oil based lubricants, such as petroleum jelly or with any vaginal products that may have oil. This causes the condom to be more porous, allowing semen and viruses to travel through the condom.
• If allergic to latex condom, there are also polyurethane or synthetic latex condoms. These types of condoms have not been as thoroughly tested as male latex condoms; however the CDC indicates that they're likely to provide similar protection.

I'M COOLER WHEN I'M HIGH

Using alcohol or anything that alters your sober mental state, including prescription drugs increases your risk for HIV infection (and only God knows what else!). A person's decision to say no or remain abstinent or faithful to their partner may be weakened if here or she is using alcohol or other drugs. People with altered states of mind are more likely to forget to use condoms or may not use them properly.

HOW DO I AVOID THE TEMPTATION?

Pressure to party and engage in ccertain activities may seem like a reality in college life, single life, depressed life, etc. but it is important to protect yourself from high risk situations like gatherings centered around alcohol or other drugs. Avoid adding these two dangerous incentives to your dates as it can promote risky or violent behavior including date rape. Do not be afraid to say no and you can do so politely; however be firm. Aside from health issues, alcohol use or possession by people under the age of 21 can result in legal problems and it is important that you know the laws in your state as well as in other countries when traveling for holidays. Your schools, jobs or organizations you may be a part of might have rules about alcohol use by students or employees.

Learn to assert yourself, stand firm in your convictions of what you believe is best for you. Think ahead as sometimes certain stressors and pressures in life may make making decisions like abstaining from sex and refraining from drug use more difficult. It's easier to make these decisions when you think about consequences and decide on your limits and boundaries before getting into a situation involving alcohol, drug or sex. While it may be diffiult depending on the moment, try to always remain calm when choosing to say no and leave emotions out of your decision. Look the person in the eye and stand straight or sit up straight - try not to give nervous laughter or smiles as this may be interpreted as uncertainty. Use "I" statements instead of ridiculing the person who is choosing to be involved in high risk behavior. Say, "I have more fun when I'm not drinking", or "Drinking makes me sick", or "No thanks, I have a (test, interview, meeting) in the morning", instead of "You're a fool for drinking." As you should have your mind made up before you actually say no, stand firm and don't give in or argue your decision.

If still caught in the heat of the moment and temptation is in your face, learn to flip people's statements to where they can't respond:

But, everyone is doing it. / REPLY: I'm someone and I'm not doing it.

I thought you loved me. / REPLY: If you loved me, you wouldn't pressure me.

I'll still respect you in the morning. / REPLY: Good. I'll see you then.

This blog was written mostly for an informational purpose. As an individual living with HIV and someone who has been to many "sex education" classes in school, I feel that it would be less of me and what I believe in to not put my two cents in. First, I am a firm believer in abstinence. I was taught it growing up, I believe in the Bible and that all in it is what we should follow; however there are many factors to consider when thinking of who you are talking to as an audience when teaching abstinence. I do NOT believe it should be solely taught in schools. Things taught in schools should be reinforced in life beginning at home. If a student doesn't have someone at home or anyone they trust in their life to reinforce abstinence as an example of how to live, can you honestly expect them to adhere to it simply because you tell them to? While in some schools, the reasons WHY abstinence is the safest way to avoid HIV, STD's and unwanted pregnancy, there are less schools that provide or explain (notice I didn't say HAND OUT) the tools available to individuals who choose to not abstain OR for individuals who may get in a situation or even live in a situation where they don't have a choice. I feel that you can't tell someone not to do something without telling them why or without explaining how to protect themselves should something unforseen occur. Yes, in the book of Genesis, Adam and Eve were given specific instructions and then didn't follow them and NO I'm not saying God should have given them candied apple so that they wouldn't have been tempted. I'm saying that because the source of original sin went down the way it did, it caused a ripple effect of more sin. We were then at that point, given free will and our free will has caused deaths, heartache, wars, poverty, greed, etc. and we all have ways to avoid things that are not good for us. Even then... Eve could have had anything else in the Garden of Eden. We can do ANYTHING else besides put ourselves at risk for HIV, STDs and unwanted pregnancy; however we let our flesh (hormones/peer pressure) get the best of us. So if we must be that weak we should at least utilize the methods that are available to us so that we can take advantage of the chances given to us to do better each day.

Also, as well as there are rules regarding proper usage of condoms, there is education on proper disposal of condoms. Do NOT flush them down the toilet!! Do NOT throw them under the bed or couch or car seat. Do NOT use them more than once. Upon removal of used condom, roll in tissue along with wrapper (if it can be found - I know how it is sometimes), and place in trash can. If there is concern of embarrassing discovery later, be sure to dispose of outside. I don't know anyone that digs through their bathroom trash can, this seems like a pretty safe place to throw a condom away.

I thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy blog and will soon return to my personal rants on being HIV positive and trying to keep others from getting it too!

Press Release from NMAC: White House Announces HIV/AIDS Funding Priorities for FY2010

My commentary of this press released that I received via email today will be in this font as I mostly copy and pasted from the email itself. Over the past several months, there has been heavy concern and prayer regarding federal funding all across the board for non-profit organizations, all the way up to agencies that heavily rely on federal funding. People have been asked to contact their local legislators to speak on their behalf regarding these concerns and evidently, the people have been heard! As of today, the HIV/AIDS funding has been increased for the fiscal year of 2010. This strengthens my hope that interventions will increase as newly infected cases will decrease. The press release goes as follows:

The Obama administration released details about HIV/AIDS funding in the FY2010 budget. During a conference call in which the National Minority AIDS Council (NMAC) participated, White House Officials noted that the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) budget will be $78.4 billion a $2.6 billion increase from last year.

The National Minority AIDS Council hosts the United States Conference on AIDS every year. I have had the honor of participating on a small scale as a panelist. Over the past twenty years, NMAC has played a pivitol role in addressing the challenges of HIV/AIDS by designing and implementing programs and initiatives to address communities of color.

“This is a great time for the HIV/AIDS movement, with the epidemic once again becoming a priority in the government’s agenda,” said Paul Kawata, Executive Director of NMAC. “We are moving toward a national health strategy that will address the funding necessary to target the HIV/AIDS epidemic and other health disparities in the U.S. ”

The $78.4 billion will breakdown as follows: $53 million will be geared to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) HIV budget, including HIV/AIDS prevention, testing, linkages to services, increasing capacity, and health department monitoring; $54 million will be directed to the Ryan White Care Act; HOPWA will have a modest increase; and abstinence-only budgets will be 75% reallocated into comprehensive, evidence-based teen pregnancy prevention education and 25% geared to fund new HIV/AIDS interventions. In addition, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) will receive $443 million increase in funding, where $6 billion will be for cancer research over eight years.

I am even more excited regarding the abstinence only budget being reallocated. I hope that it takes shape as abstinence only programs across the state of Florida haven't made much of a difference with the rates of teen pregnancy remaining the same or increasing. The point of implementing programs like this in my opinion is to decrease a statistic. I am a firm believer in abstinence-only; however if it's not reinforced in a teen's community or especially at home, it is totally ineffective. With that being said, implementing a comprehensive health education along with encouraging the benefits of exploring abstinence will probably go a LONG way. Of course, this is my humble opinion. I'm just glad it's being recognized on a national level.

“This budget will significantly increase prevention efforts to address the staggering rate of new HIV cases that take place annually in the U.S., which is most welcome considering the frightening spike in HIV/AIDS rates throughout our country, especially among people of color and our nation’s capital”, said Ravinia Hayes-Cozier, NMAC’s Director of Government Relations and Public Policy Division. “Although the ban on funding for syringe exchange will not be lifted, we will continue our intensive advocacy work for it. Also, funding to support getting people into care is crucial to the success of a National AIDS Strategy, where the lack of access to HIV/AIDS treatment and care has been a continuous concern since the epidemic began.”

I am a little upset with the ban on syringe exchange not being lifted. Logic tells most HIV/AIDS prevention and outreach workers that most needle drug users won't take the time to stop and clean their works and needles (cotton, cooker, spoon, etc.) as they properly should when
using drugs. Yet, I believe as most of the people who work in the HIV/AIDS field do, that if a needle exchange program is implemented, it will greatly decrease the number if HIV transmission and infection to new users. Some feel that it only encourages people to continue using their drugs but I have learned that when dealing with HIV/AIDS prevention and getting someone's attention who is high risk, you have to bring your prevention skills to a level where they will give a damn. If you come at a person who shoots up every day and simply tell them that the only way they can prevent contracting or transmitting HIV is for them to stop... they are going to give you the what-the-hell-ever face. But if you approach them with compassion for their addiction (not judgement, ridicule and disdain) and let them know that while they are struggling, they still have a way to protect themselves, then they will listen. Some adhere to cleaning their works and needles, others would prefer a place to take their used needles/syringes in exchange for a sterilized one. It's not a "COME GET FREE WORK SUPPLIES HERE" stand as some people are led to think. But I can go on and on about this particular facet in the fight on HIV/AIDS. Feel free to read more at your convenience on these links provided:

Cleaning Your Works

Why Needle Exchange Programs are Vital in the Fight on
HIV/AIDS

DrugPolicy.org

(As of May 06, there were 186 Needle Exchange Programs running in 36 states as well as D.C., Puerto Rico and Native American islands.)

The HHS budget justifications will be publicly available within the next few days and include more details.

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About NMAC
The National Minority AIDS Council (NMAC) has advanced its mission, “to develop leadership within communities of color to address the challenges of HIV/AIDS” since 1987 through individualized capacity building assistance, technical assistance trainings, public policy education programs; national and regional conferences; treatment and research education programs; online and printed resource materials; and a website: http://www.nmac.org/. The agency also serves as a membership association for its constituents AIDS service organizations and minority faith- and community-based organizations delivering HIV/AIDS services in communities of color and advocates on their behalf in Washington , DC . NMAC's advocacy efforts are funded through private funders and donors only. For more information, please contact NMAC directly at (202) 483-NMAC (6622) or communications@nmac.org. You may find us online at http://www.nmac,org/, as well as on Facebook.com, Wikipedia.com, Twitter.com, MyPhotoAlbum.com and YouTube.com.

About NMAC in Action

Much of the information distributed through the NMAC in Action and on the NMAC website is drawn from secondary sources. It is not meant to constitute or convey medical advice or diagnostic information. People living with HIV/AIDS should share information of interest with their primary care provider before making treatment choices. The presence of the name or image of any person on the NMAC website, or within this message, should not be construed as an indication of their HIV status, unless specifically stated.

The National Minority AIDS Council (NMAC) has responded to the needs of communities of color by developing programs aimed at enhancing the skills necessary to confront this health crisis, including a public policy education program, national and regional training conferences, a treatment and research program and numerous publications. Today, NMAC is an association of AIDS service organizations providing valuable information to community-based organizations, hospitals, clinics and other groups assisting individuals and families affected by the AIDS epidemic. NMAC's advocacy efforts are funded through private funders and donors only. For more information, call: (202) 234-5120; e-mail: communications@nmac.org; or visit: http://www.nmac.org/.

Assessing A Situation

A woman gives birth to a baby boy sixteen years ago and never tells the child who his father is due to the father being into a lot of illegal activities in the community. The child grows up only to lose his mother in his senior year of high school because she had AIDS. Now the entire family has turned their backs on him and his younger sibling for what they think of his mother. He has no home, doesn't attend school regularly and is now becoming a shadow of the father he doesn't even know exists.

There are so many things wrong in that scenario... well, it's not a scenario, it's a reality and it's a sickening one. So many opportunities to make things right, give a child hope, step in and help a mother identify her high risk behaviours prior to giving birth to a second child... So many reasons why respecting yourself, checking yourself and protecting yourself is vital. It's a vicious cycle that could have been a healthy bonded circle...

It saddens me... where does the community step in? What can be done for mothers out there that can help them make better decisions so that they can raise healthy minded, loved, ambitious young men and women? Is there still hope for this child? Is he lost?

Hey HIV, Will You Marry Me?

People tend to think some things about HIV positive people like that they can’t be in a relationship, that they won’t get married, have sex (yeah, seriously), or anything that someone who’s not infected with HIV can have. They are wrong and I specifically picked a word to discuss in this blog to show that someone with HIV can be with someone who does not have HIV…

Ladies and gentleman, introducing a new word to your vocabulary: Serodiscordant is a term used to describe a couple in which one partner is HIV positive and the other is HIV negative. Serodiscordant relationships are also referred to as "magnetic".

Sero-concordant is the term used to describe a couple in which both partners are of the same HIV status (i.e., both are HIV positive or both are HIV negative). Serodiscordant couples face numerous issues not faced by sero-concordant couples, including facing a decision as to what level of sexual activity is comfortable for them, knowing that practicing safer sex reduces but does not eliminate the risk of transmission to the HIV negative partner. There are also potential psychological issues arising out of taking care of a sick partner, and survivor guilt. Financial strains may also be more accentuated as one partner becomes ill and potentially less able or unable to work. Then you have to think of planned parenting. How will the child be conceived? At what risks are you willing to take physically, emotionally, financially? Do you find a surrogate to carry the child? Do you adopt?

I’ve been putting off writing this blog for some time now because I didn’t want particular people taking my blog personal. This is something that has been on my mind for quite some time and I think I’ve finally got it together to put it into black and white.

When the subject of dating comes up in my life, I’ve been asked several times, ‘What are you looking for?” "Why are you single?" To that I usually reply with a hesitant smile or a shrug of the shoulders because I don’t really like answering the question. I always feel as if the person inquiring is looking for some certain answer to make them feel good and I want my answer to be conceived the same way it is given. I don’t want my answer to be taken as though the person that is asking me has to immediately meet my standards or requirements and if they don’t they will no longer get the time of day. As Steve Harvey has said many times on his show how women always settle and they end up in situations where they are unhappy because they don’t state their requirements. Some people like to know that they are measured at some level or that they have something to strive for. Well, at least in my opinion.

So, for some time, I’ve been thinking… while I know my worth and I know my place as a woman in a relationship, there are things that I believe should be taken into consideration prior to me establishing my heart and soul firmly in that position. I should be bringing things to the table as well as my potential mate. I should be willing to succumb to certain conditions as well as he. There is no 50/50 in my eyes, it’s give all and take all. Some would consider this unrealistic, but I’m a old fashioned romantic and it’s what I expect, what I require. We should be partners that balance each other, compliment each other. My peanut butter to his jelly, if you will. (Strawberry, if you’re feeling fresh!)

So what am I looking for?

I am looking for someone who is secure enough in themselves to love me at my worst so they can really appreciate me at my best and someone who is secure enough to let me see them at their worst and not always their best. I want to be with someone who appreciates the quiet so when I get loud and want to get loose, they will have the time of their lives (it happens). The person that I need to be with has to be someone that is willing to be in a sero-discordant relationship because I am a woman that openly speaks about being HIV positive, I pass out condoms, I hug drug addicts and I see a doctor every three months. One day, I night be on medication. One day, I might want another child. I give a lot of myself and I do not do so to compensate for some psychological trauma where I feel as though to give is the only way to receive love. I give and want my mate to understand that my love is boundless and intertwining with all man (not MEN, but mankind). I want someone who believes in fighting for what is right, not just because it makes you feel good, but because it’s right and you aren’t afraid of the changes to come. I see me being with someone that can embrace me for all that I am and still maintain their own crazy, sexy, cool… does that really sound impossible? No. It sounds like something that takes faith, work, communication, time, open-mindedness, willingness to laugh at yourself, the ability to show weaknesses, accepting that you are two people that are human, that are bound to make mistakes and to be comfortable with one another when the mistakes happen. That’s what I’m looking for. Can you handle that?

Why has it taken me so long to write this? Because I’m a single mother who has had her share of heartbreaks and has caused others she loved (loves) dearly pain. I am a woman who lives on the edge of not wanting to accept what life has given her and I fight through it daily because I know what God has promised me. I am a human being who is saddened at the thought that one mistake I made could cause me to not live long enough to see my daughter. That sadness sometimes keeps me from getting out of the bed. Can you handle that?

When I get proposed to, when someone wants to be with me that I deem worthy of the above mentioned things, I want them to know that this is what they are saying, “I do” to. It’s not just about the rings, the bridal party, the honeymoon, the living together, it’s about accepting each other BEFORE the joint accounts, before you get the dog… it’s about having the late night conversations, surviving the fights, the in-laws, the haters, the financial upheaval and the let downs. It’s about knowing that there are times you can’t fix everything but being there for each other does count for something. It’s about getting a chill twenty years into the marriage because the spark has never died. Come to think of it, I don’t even want a spark, I want an inferno… but should the flames die down, I know my best friend, my lover, my man will understand that things that can warm me again. It’s about being real with each other. Can you handle that?

I want my future husband to know that there are some days I am so sure in every decision I make and all that comes my way and there are days where I have to remember to tell the storm how big my God is because I just can’t take anymore and don’t want to bring those I love into my turmoil. I want my future husband to pray with me. I don’t mean quietly in his own time, I mean get down on his knees and confess sins, profess glory, give honor and praise to God with me. Can you handle that?

I always tell friends who have been through rough patches, bad break-ups and whimsical flings that the reason we go through our bad times is so that we can truly appreciate the good times. If things were all good all the time, we would completely take people in our lives for granted. We’d take for granted the tender moments where we feel like the most special person in the world. So, you have to be appreciative of those times when you wonder why you ended up with such a loser or why you wasted your time on such a gold digger. When you meet the one who knows your worth, you will know it. It won’t be a temporary feeling. It will be one that will stick with you like that piece of gum you stepped on in the parking lot at the mall and you didn’t notice until you stepped on your freshly mopped kitchen floor. Yeah, like that. LOL

Seriously, though there are times I wonder if I live in a fantasy land, I sit and make lists of realistic characteristics that I believe help a relationship thrive and the things I’ve mentioned are on that list. So perhaps when it’s all packaged together it seems like something that doesn’t exist, but I wait patiently because I know that my God knows the desires of my heart and knows what will break my heart. So I trust in Him to bring to me what is supposed to be in my life. I’d like to think that my list in comparison to who God is preparing for me doesn’t do him any justice. I'd like to hope that the man I receive in my life will exceed all that I ever hoped for.

I say all of this as a woman with HIV who once thought that love forgot all about me and would never know me again. I thought I was destined to be a pill popping-toilet hugging-rocking chair sitting-old maid who would only be touched by a nurse practioner (and what a cold touch they have sometimes)! But I have had to come to terms with things, stop just going through life and GROW through life. I now know that despite it all, I am worthy to have what my heart wants. Some would say a lot of odds are against me. I'm a single mother (who has a normal relationship with the baby's father - no animosity), I speak out publicily (to educate others to keep them from feeling isolated or that it can't happen to them) and I like country western music.

What? We've all got our quirks!

For a real dose of my blog read, When Opposites Attract:

http://www.thebody.com/content/whatis/art40470.html

Let Me Re-Introduce Myself...

I initially did this video as a thank you to all my friends on MySpace who had been there for me from the time that I disclosed my status of being HIV positive. Since then, I have been surrounded by friends and family who have inspired me and strengthened me to face the challenges of stigma, stare down the demons of isolation and kick off into the ass of despair. I speak out for those that can't, won't or too afraid to. I speak out for those that have to sneak and take their medications alone, who have to go to doctor's appointments alone, who have to face the complications of HIV/AIDS in death alone. No one should have to be alone and for those that have made sure that I never am, I say....