From Columbine to the recent Virginia Tech, innocent lives have been lost as a result to matters that used to be caught and dealt with in time before they escalated – if they occurred at all.
What makes a child want to cause harm to their peers? I mean, I remember wanting to kick someone’s behind; however I knew that violence wasn’t my answer, so I just counted down the days to graduation. I am a person who believes in people reaping what they sow. I know that somewhere, someday in the future, the children that caused my strife would be cosmically dealt with.
Now as a parent, I have my daughter to think of. What can I do as a parent to ensure that she does the same and doesn’t want to resort to taking weapons to school or causing physical harm to any of her peers? She’s four and already has had a bully incident. I’ve met the child and I truly believe that her behavior comes from lack of proper attention at home. The child knows that when they act out, someone will pay them attention. Children want to be seen and whether they have to commit a negative or positive act to not feel invisible, the result is all that matters to them.
Some say that a lot of today’s children’s negative behavior has to do with society so willingly available to diagnose the child with a disorder, prescribe a medication or place them in facilities that are inevitably un nurturing. Others believe that had prayer not been taken out of schools and the old school discipline of paddling, we wouldn’t have as many problems as we have now. Who’s to know for sure? And since we cannot predict life based on What if’s and Should be’s… we need to focus on what to do now.
Adults: Do you believe that another problem with our youth is that some parents are in denial of the responsibility that their actions play on our children’s behavior? Do you think that your child will come to you if they feel helpless in some of the above situations? Are you willing to accept that it is sometimes easier for them to go to their peers than for them to come to you? What are your solutions to this?
General: If the children are the future, then we HAVE to take responsibility in the present so when questions are asked about our past we are properly held accountable.
I wish more parents would take time to talk to their children and more importantly, listen to them. All of us want, need, crave attention, and I agree that some people are so starved for attention, that they would even resort to acting out to get negative attention. It's bad, and I think it's our duty as adults to let our kids know we care; but before we can let our kids know that we care, we actually have to care. Lazy, irresponsible, apathetic parents who don't give a damn, or who want someone else to do the parenting for them, irk me. The first step is to care. The second is to be willing to sacrifice time to give to our children. Working hard is all well and good, to provide for your children, but we can't neglect their needs for good, responsible parenting/guardianship.
ReplyDeleteForgot my user id and password, so I posted anonymously above. Oops. Irys. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your comment, especially the part about taking time. I quit my job so I could spend time with my daughter. She needs me and I need her!! It's a temporary situation and one that I can take advantage of since she is so young and I dont have to entertain her with material things. Right now, just having me there is going to make a difference in her life. Thanks for coming through!
ReplyDelete