I've been experiencing some spiritual challenges as of late.
Remembering to bite
my tongue when I want to give someone a piece of my mind is one of them. Then, remembering
to not have an attitude when that said person doesn’t stop talking after I’ve
shown such grace. Oh yeah, and this cycle of feeling ignored. I’ve been
experiencing that a lot!
You know, we tell our kids to clean up the one piece of
paper off the floor and two days later, not only is that same piece of paper there but so are shoes, socks and a spoon?!!??
What in the?
Or our spouse has the cute little habit of leaving all the
lights on in the house but strong arms you when you reach for the light bill in
the mailbox, smiling sheepishly as you scowl – again.
Wives, mothers…daughters, sisters…beloveds…
These are just little examples, but we know full well if you
add that to the mix of our randomly sequenced life events like looking for a
job, trying to lose weight, having a house built, running a ministry in your
church, and maintaining your righteousness upon all of that…well paint the “S”
on our chests and let’s take a bow!
Take a deep breath, it’s ok. We have to remember in times
like this that God is always working in secret, behind the scenes, even when it feels as though nothing will
ever change. The change that we seek, for it to really last through
those days of “If I find one more sock on the floor, I will scream. And I will
not stop”; we have to examine the inside of us.
The day I embraced this was a hard day. I felt like there
was no one I could talk to even though I was surrounded by able minded
people. I didn’t want to feel like a
burden. So what did I do? I sabotaged myself and went to someone who I know was
experiencing some personal burdens of their own.
Misery love company much?
This person literally took over the conversation as soon as
I said I need to talk. So I bit my tongue, listened with grace, because
obviously they needed to vent. I left in
silence.
My next attempt was at church. As soon as my foot hit the
pavement of the parking lot, I was pulled in ten different directions with
rapid, insincere pleasantries in between. I left frustrated.
I cried out to God, “Why is everyone ignoring me??? Why isn’t
anyone at least asking how I’m doing?
I haven’t been to worship service in
weeks! I haven’t talked to my friends in months. No one cares.
Well, God’s word is His source of “There, there my child.
Come rest and listen to my voice.” I found that rest in Psalms 125:12
“Those who trust in, lean on and confidently hope in the Lord are like Mt. Zion, which cannot be moved but abides and stands fast forever. As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about His people from this time forth and forever.”
There are times in us feeling ignored (see
abandoned, emotionally neglected, overwhelmed, etc.) that we should remind
ourselves that no one can (insert negative emotion here) you if God is for you.
Then I had to really make this personal for me, since the feeling of being
ignored was beginning to eat at me.
Maybe I’ve been ignoring God?
So I made a list of all the things that I felt that I was
being ignored about. I looked at this list and it jumped out at me. These were
all things that I hadn’t really, truly trusted in God, leaned on, or
confidently hoped for. I was desperately seeking change in these things and
neglected to change me! It is so hard to be honest with ourselves when it comes
to failures and insecurities, but we have to remember that noting is bigger than
our God.
Not. One. Thing.
We cannot change anything by being frustrated and struggling
within. Only God can fight those battles, but we have to let him. Stop being at war with yourself and tap into
the victory within you through the grace God has given you – not the struggles
of this world.
Your change will come when you allow God to reveal it to
you. The catch is, once He does you have to show that you trust Him with it
before He can work in you the change that is needed.
In this, I find rest. I hope you do too. With every sock on
the floor and with every challenge that you face.
Love,
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