Pill Popping, Clock Stopping Fun - National Health Blog Post Challenge: Day 11

For all our veterans and family members, we celebrate this day because it marks the end of WWI, at the 11th hour on the 11th day of the 11th month. For WEGO Health's National Health Blog Month Challenge, we are being asked if we have a task that we complete every day at the same time that helps with our chronic illness? How long and how does it help? Ummm...ok here we go.


*Disclaimer: I fell of the 30 days, 30 posts wagon. I can't remember what activity grabbed my attention where I couldn't make this a priority, but since I started this, I will finish it. Well, just this one post.*

The only task that I complete each day as a ritual that is related to HIV is taking my meds. This is the utmost important thing I can do. But, I have a weird way of doing it.

I only have to take three pills, once a day. Thank God. (I will later discuss one day, why I am not yet on the once-a-day regimen). I take these before I go to bed every night, it's the easiest way to remember, plus, I have a high blood pressure pill that I add to that and I can only tolerate that tiny sucker at night.

Here's the weird part (ok, there's several components to my weirdness, but it's how I do it).

• I cannot stand for people to watch me take my meds. So, if I happen to be standing in the kitchen taking them, I will turn and face a wall. Even when I'm home by myself.

• I do not like to swallow pills so I will put my drink in my mouth first, then force the pill through my lips and swallow altogether. If I do not do this, the pills get stuck. Every time.

• I also (please don't judge me) do not take my meds with water as I do the above step. It has to be juice because for some reason, when I do this with water, the taste that I experience makes me gag and they come back up. This is with ANY pill. Aleve, vitamins, anything. BUT, I do drink water afterwards to make sure it's all washed down. 

So, there's my ritual. There's my weirdness. Read all about it! LOL
If anyone has anything weirder, I'd love to know so I don't feel as bad. We can start a club! C'mon! No? Ok.

Love ya anyway,

Standing Firm Like Mt. Zion (even if no one cares you climbed it)

I've been experiencing some spiritual challenges as of late.

 Remembering to bite my tongue when I want to give someone a piece of my mind is one of them. Then, remembering to not have an attitude when that said person doesn’t stop talking after I’ve shown such grace. Oh yeah, and this cycle of feeling ignored. I’ve been experiencing that a lot!

You know, we tell our kids to clean up the one piece of paper off the floor and two days later, not only is that same piece of paper there but so are shoes, socks and a spoon?!!?? What in the?

Or our spouse has the cute little habit of leaving all the lights on in the house but strong arms you when you reach for the light bill in the mailbox, smiling sheepishly as you scowl – again.

Wives, mothers…daughters, sisters…beloveds…

These are just little examples, but we know full well if you add that to the mix of our randomly sequenced life events like looking for a job, trying to lose weight, having a house built, running a ministry in your church, and maintaining your righteousness upon all of that…well paint the “S” on our chests and let’s take a bow!

Take a deep breath, it’s ok. We have to remember in times like this that God is always working in secret, behind the scenes, even when it feels as though nothing will ever change. The change that we seek, for it to really last through those days of “If I find one more sock on the floor, I will scream. And I will not stop”; we have to examine the inside of us.

The day I embraced this was a hard day. I felt like there was no one I could talk to even though I was surrounded by able minded people.  I didn’t want to feel like a burden. So what did I do? I sabotaged myself and went to someone who I know was experiencing some personal burdens of their own. 

Misery love company much?

This person literally took over the conversation as soon as I said I need to talk. So I bit my tongue, listened with grace, because obviously they needed to vent. I left  in silence.

My next attempt was at church. As soon as my foot hit the pavement of the parking lot, I was pulled in ten different directions with rapid, insincere pleasantries in between. I left frustrated.

I cried out to God, “Why is everyone ignoring me??? Why isn’t anyone at least asking how I’m doing?  I haven’t been to worship service in weeks! I haven’t talked to my friends in months. No one cares.

Well, God’s word is His source of “There, there my child. Come rest and listen to my voice.” I found that rest in Psalms 125:12 

“Those who trust in, lean on and confidently hope in the Lord are like Mt. Zion, which cannot be moved but abides and stands fast forever. As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about His people from this time forth and forever.”

There are times in us feeling ignored (see abandoned, emotionally neglected, overwhelmed, etc.) that we should remind ourselves that no one can (insert negative emotion here) you if God is for you.

Then I had to really make this personal for me, since the feeling of being ignored was beginning to eat at me.

Maybe I’ve been ignoring God?

So I made a list of all the things that I felt that I was being ignored about. I looked at this list and it jumped out at me. These were all things that I hadn’t really, truly trusted in God, leaned on, or confidently hoped for. I was desperately seeking change in these things and neglected to change me! It is so hard to be honest with ourselves when it comes to failures and insecurities, but we have to remember that noting is bigger than our God.

Not. One. Thing.

We cannot change anything by being frustrated and struggling within. Only God can fight those battles, but we have to let him.  Stop being at war with yourself and tap into the victory within you through the grace God has given you – not the struggles of this world.

Your change will come when you allow God to reveal it to you. The catch is, once He does you have to show that you trust Him with it before He can work in you the change that is needed.

In this, I find rest. I hope you do too. With every sock on the floor and with every challenge that you face.

Love,