Commitment and Integrity: Happy Veterans Day

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!

Thirty one years ago, I was born to a woman who didn't know she could have children. I was a miracle baby. Due to some emotional and physical turmoil my mom was going through prior to her discovering she was carrying me, she was seriously considering suicide. I grew up always knowing this and always feeling extra special that my life had such an impact on my mom. 

The more I grew up, the more I got to know my mom and especially as I became a mother, I realized it was not just I that saved her life, but she, as well as countless others saved our lives collectively. 

For a single black woman to even live in a country where she can contemplate the taking of her life and not have that decision made for her is a freedom not to be taken lightly. In countries that have women and girls not even allowed to go to school, not be able to choose who they marry, not have access to medical care, not be able to walk with their face showing or know that they can choose education over slavery...I see my mother through a set of eyes that inspires me to fight for those women. I got that fight from her. We are all soldiers.

You see, my mother, has been through pains and hurts...unspeakable betrayals of trust at a very young age and she rose beyond that with a chin held high, eyes narrowed and jaw set on never allowing that to happen to her girls. Her commitment to being a woman of virtue poured out in her mothering. Her integrity in the face of injustice rings loud when the silent become comfortable. She was groomed to be a soldier, becoming a soldier just gave her a platform to stand and be respected for the woman of God she is. 

I dedicate this blog to not just her, but to all the other women who chose to fight for their country when no one would fight for them. I salute the women who made the sacrifices they did so that I could sit here in my pajamas, living openly with HIV, married to a white man and say...

Thank you.

Reflections Post: Marriage & HIV

Some time ago I posted what I expected in marriage as an HIV positive woman and how I felt about who ever thought they could handle me in said marriage. Well...two years later...my reality is bliss!


So I'll be married for two years this coming February!

And I still have this smile on my face!

Being married is one of the most natural feeling things I've ever experienced next to being a mom. I'm amazed at just the thought of it. These are the two things I was most scared of in life. Being a mother wasn't in my plans and being married was something I was growing very wary of. But here I am. 

My husband is one of the hardest working men I've ever met in my life. Everything I spoke of in that blog was a resignation of being ok with being single. Once I reached that in my faith capsule, all else simply fell into place. I wasn't looking, I wasn't questioning, it seriously snuck up on me and I've been on my toes ever since trying to keep up with all of the blessings. 

Do we fight? Not so much, but we can do a quick snap, crackle, POP! Then retreat to our corners and come together again in love and understanding. Are there struggles though? OH YES! If it's not insurance, it's waiting for our house to be built. If it's not that, it's our daughter and her growing pains (we're raising my Tween from a previous relationship), or it's something about me always forgetting to take the meat out the freezer. We're not perfect, but we're perfect for each other. 

So, as I reflect on that scared little girl in the previous blog to the giddy and in love little girl I am now, I realize I am one blessed woman. I got my happily ever after and this fairy tale is far from over. 

Take THAT HIV! I am covered in a Ephesians 3:20-21 kind of life! "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to his power that is at work within us. To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus, throughout all generations forevermore. Amen!" NIV

A Caramelized Colloidal Silver Dipped Apple A Day...National Health Blog Post Challenge: Day 10

Today's topic for the WEGO Health National Health Blog Month Challenge is alternative treatments and regimens. I am all for yoga, acupuncture, massage therapy, aromatherapy, vitamins, and other holistic methods to help manage your health care. I am all for prayer and standing in the belief that you are healed simply because you believe in the power of prayer.

Since my diagnosis in 2003, and I began speaking publicly about HIV/AIDS in 2007, I have received messages to almost all of my social networking profiles with offers on how to cure AIDS and that the government has the secret, etc.etc. I have been told by conspiracy theorists that I am bamboozled because I won't accept their theories for my reality and that I am just a guinea pig for the government.

I have been ridiculed by people in the "faith" community that I have not claimed my healing because I have not drank their holy tonic or rubbed on their anointed cloth. Side Note: My faith is not limited to a material object that can be held or manipulated by Man, but my belief in a Savior that was beaten, killed and buried for my sins only to rise again three days later - by His stripes, I am healed. 

Well, I have my own personal doubts I struggle with, of what my body is going through, I really don't need all of this other static in my head either, but I will share with you my thoughts on the whole craze of colloidal silver and please know that any posting of links is NOT in support of the claims being made by individuals or groups. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, it is your body and you have the right to do with it as you see fit. I won't argue with anyone who disagrees with me just as I won't expect an argument from the people that I disagree with.

The craziest thing I have ever heard are the claims on colloidal silver. Colloidal silver is a product made of tiny particles of silver that are suspended in a liquid (and yes, when I say silver, I mean the same metal your grandmother uses during the holidays). You are to ingest this liquid as a dietary supplement and it's stake to fame is that it boosts your immune system so well, that you can be cured of anything.

My problem with this "cure-all" is not whether it works or not. It's the wording of the claim. A visit to YouTube and you will see videos of people claiming to be "cured" of HIV, but if you listen carefully, the "cure" is that they are undetectable. There is the problem. IF they are to ever stop taking this cure all, HIV/AIDS will again begin to replicate in the body and your t-cells would drop again.

Ironic though...there are already pills that do that. I'm undetectable for two years now. And the side effects of too much colloidal silver are that your eyes, skin, internal organs, nails and gums are all effected by it. It builds up in your tissue and turns these body parts a blue-ish gray color, which also have to do with if you are ingesting the right mix of colloidal silver. I know Zombies are in, but that's not the look I'm going for - plus, it's irreversible. I personally, have no side effects from the medications I'm taking that are FDA approved and work. To each his own, but as for me and my body, I will only put things in it that I can verify if something goes wrong and hold someone accountable. I will always pray over whatever goes in my body and I'm sorry, but if this was the cure, and it's been around for as long as it has, I think there'd be less infections of any kind around.

Humanity comes from a history where simple prescriptions of sunlight, have sex, eat an apple, get some sleep...were strongly held to be the remedy for common cold, PMS, a headache, stress,etc. so it is no surprise that we take on a whole new understanding of natural remedies. My standing is that all of those things are recommended preventative measures today and science and medicine has evolved to where we have actual treatments for things that were not fully understood in our history. I believe the same for the future. There are things we may be doing medically now, that will be old wives tales to our great-grandchildren. Hopefully, if we keep making progress and making decisions with a sound mind instead of microwave healing, we might live long enough to see those changes.

TGIF! Favorite Quotes - National Health Blog Post Challenge: Day 8

As a woman who lives on inspiration and encouragement, I am extremely excited to bring you this blog post for Day Eight of  National Health Blog Month Challenge. 

A simple list of my three favorite quotes. That's it. So I've thought long and hard on this and I want my favorites to be a source of inspiration for you. I have SO many, that speak to me at different times of my life. There was one point in my life, after I had my daughter, learned my HIV diagnosis and was coming out of the stress and limbo to find out if my daughter had also contracted it (she didn't), that I remember sitting zoned out in front of my computer reading posts on MySpace and forwarded emails from friends that sometimes brought me out of my depression and sometimes launched me into a fit of tears. There were so many emotions going through me on top of post-partum depression that I am thankful to look back and see I've overcome. Here are three of the thousands of quotes that helped me in that time. Thanks time capsule journals and old blog posts. You can click on the quotes to see the old blogs from what inspired me to depend on it for encouragement.

1. "To live your best life now, you must begin looking at life through eyes of faith, visualizing the life you want to live."

2. A speaker at a marketing seminar drives home the message of decision making, which can be applied to everyone:  “If five frogs are sitting on a log and three of them decide to jump,” he asked the audience, “how many frogs are left on the log?” The answers were unanimous as they replied, “Two.” “Wrong,” the speaker chided, “there is a difference between deciding to jump and jumping so there are still five frogs on the log.”

3. There is no blog reflection for this one. It's simply my ultimate favorite and inspires me to keep talking about HIV/AIDS all the live long day. It matters. I matter. You matter, so I will not be silent.

This blog was really hard. Really, really hard. I wanted to do movie quotes, song lines, scriptures, all of that. Great words have been said by many great people. What makes all those people great is that they took the time to reflect on their personal experiences and speak on them, thus the ripple effect of encouragement. 

What will you take time to reflect on that will help you speak encouragement to others? 

Mary Poppins Rocks Her Louis Vuitton - Health Blog Challenge: Day 7

So it is Day 7 of the National Health Blog Month Challenge and I am almost too many minutes close to midnight too late to do it, but at least I'm in!! Today's topic we have to write about what is in our bag everyday and why!

Soo, this is my Louis Vuitton bag that I carry everyday...I'm not into name brands especially trendy ones, but this was a gift for my 28th birthday and I just can't find a purse I'd rather carry. It fits me because I have not seen anyone else carrying it. I like standing apart :D Moving on to the contents, which are no where NEAR as glamorous as a Louis...

The inside of my purse is in shambles. I took the opportunity for this blog to actually clean out my purse, but here are the remnants besides receipt papers, gum wrappers, random pens, a empty water bottle (don't ask) and my daughter's collection of rubber bands:

I will just focus on three things out of this sea of gum, makeup, tissues, candy and change; that I carry everyday.

1 - My agenda. (Yellow circle). I carry this everyday because when I get asked to speak, or if I'm going to a conference, or if my daughter's leadership team is available to volunteer at a walk-a-thon, I want to be able to say yes, with confidence. I know I can put all this information in my phone, but sometimes I need to see my handwriting, ink on paper, and turn pages for it to embed itself in my mind. It's like a security blanket for my memory.

2 - My backup stash of pills (Green circle). I carry these because there are some days I don't make it home in time to take my meds before I go to sleep. I'm on my treatment once a day and the best time of day for me to remember is before I go to sleep. There are times I am out late and too tired when I come, so I keep them in my purse. Plus, when I travel and my luggage is ever lost (knock on wood), then I won't have to worry about missing a dose.

3 - Scripture cards (Red circle). I carry these to help me stay encouraged. They are actually scriptures based on healing. Plus, I have a hard time memorizing scriptures. It is easier for me to tell stories but there are some that have nothing to do with a painted picture, it will be a set of instructions. I carry these cards as a memory tool and to help encourage others I meet throughout my day.

*pulls random card from box*  Matthew 4:23-24 "And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching...and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people..The brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatick, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them."

So in a sense, my bag is like Mary Poppins in that I have a teaspoon of sugar for my mind, body and soul.

You have some AIDS in your hair! Say WHAT? Health Blog Challenge - Day 6

I'm going to take a stab at participating in WEGO Health's National Blog Post Month.

November National Health Blog Post Month Challenge

Every day for the month of November, I will be responding to prompts given by WEGO Health. I am doing this to strengthen my brevity in writing skills. I am doing this because if my attention span is that of a gnat with ADHD, how I can I expect anyone else to read through all my random thoughts? And yes, for me...this is a "short" blog post! 

So, I'm five days behind but I will start with today's prompt. 

Say WHAT?!What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard about your health condition? Was there any context? What did you think at the time you heard it – and what do you think of it now?

The most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard about HIV/AIDS???!!!! Where do I begin??!! Just recently a friend of mine posted on Facebook that while she was cutting a gentleman's hair, the conversation came up about being able to tell someone has AIDS by their hair texture. Here's a snippet of her posting:

My response is as follows:

Being HIV positive, I try not to be offended by myths, but it's hard. Growing up I've always heard I have "good hair", and now that I'm natural, people are baffled that I still have "good hair". Really? PLEASE. Hair is hair and usually if someone with HIV/AIDS is losing their hair it's because of the various treatments they have been on or other health ailments that their immune system is fighting in addition to the virus.

Thanks to media and Hollywood, the portrayal of HIV/AIDS infection is diluted to generic symptoms which isn't their fault because if you exhibit any immediate symptoms after infection, they are very similar to the flu or a bladder infection (which was my case). This baffles me because regardless of the HIV NOT being transmitted through coughing, sneezing, holding hands, using the bathroom after someone, using the same eating utensils, or swimming with - the concern for someone coughing severely should be addressed because of the flu which there is actually a vaccine for. When the Swine Flu came about everyone lost their minds wearing masks and drowning in hand sanitizer. With reason. But when public health officials tell you that all you have to do is abstain or wear a condom to prevent the transmission of HIV/AIDS people don't want to do it.

I'm thankful to those out there willing to admit that they didn't realize what they believed was false and I'm thankful to those out there that are educating themselves so that they can educate others. I'm grateful for my life in light of my infection 11 years ago because it has opened my eyes to the limits people put on themselves regarding their own health and the responsibility of maintaining it.

There was conversation on her page regarding others that thought the same thing. I sat back and watched the postings, then I posted the above statement and was later inboxed my thanks for shedding personal light on the situation. I'm not mad that people believe things like this are true, I'm mad that there are people that know different and won't step up to say the truths. Once you know better, you have to do better.