Declaration of Belief

The following may cause you to want to delete me...and I'm ok with that.

In a time of life where we think we are experiencing atrocities, injustices and heartbreak; I know this is nothing new. This has been the way of the world for a long time. Many have corrupted the goodness that does dwell in this world with religion, money, politics, and power...but none of that shakes my FAITH. A friend recently described me by saying she knows that religion is important to me. It is not. My faith is not swayed one way or the other by religion, doctrine, denomination or place of worship. To me, religion has become a systematic perversion over a body of beliefs in one or more deity all over the world, for a long time. People use religion to form others thoughts on a group of people, to wage wars against a group of people and/or to justify their own personal decisions as they see fit.

My faith is simply a response to the goodness of the God I serve, in the face of the evils we create in this world. I love Jesus Christ, not those that twist and manipulate Christianity to hate, manipulate, or control others. Those who question why is there pain and suffering? I can only reply, from my own perspective, that there is purpose in pain. I love all people, I disagree with people's choices...that doesn't mean I hate. I love all people, but I forgive people too, that doesn't mean I condone their behavior. I love all people, even if they don't share the same beliefs as me. That doesn't mean I am lost. There is a lot more to say, that will probably come in later blogs. I just had to get this off my chest TODAY after watching the video below.

I will no longer keep what some called my "sanctified mouth" shut. I will no longer back down when my heart urges me to call on Jesus in witnessing hate. For some, this will explain why you see me worship differently now. For others, this will cause you to want to separate from me. For even more, this may inspire you to genuinely examine the life you have and seek the light in Him that will help you live...eternally. Please no negative comments. If you disagree, I respect that and I still love you! #goeverywhere #loveall

Ringing the Alarm for 3 out of 4

3 in every 4 women living with HIV (WLHIV) in the United States report a history of violence compared with 1 in every 4 women in the general population.

Why is this? Why does an HIV status make women more at risk, more vulnerable to, more susceptible, to violence? My first answer is stigma. The fear of the unknown. The fear of the risk of transmission; however there is much more going on under the surface and it's time we talked about it more.

Through the powerful efforts of the women involved in the Positive Women's Network, through the engagement on headlines in various cities of women brutally beaten and killed, a call to action has been announced. The alarms have been rung...but do you hear them?

• 55% of WLHIV have experienced intimate partner violence (IPV). Some WLHIV have faced violence following disclosure of their HIV status.
• 30% of WLHIV are living with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
• Abuse and violence negatively impact health outcomes for women with HIV and low-income women may be especially vulnerable in relationships.

But let me not bore you with statistics, reports or other data. Let me introduce you to Elisha Henson, mother of two, strangled to death because she was living with HIV. Her killer stated Henson had performed oral sex on him. It was afterwards, an acquaintance mentioned Henson's "illness", he learned of her HIV status. Her body was found in a lake.

Meet, Cicely Bolden, also a mother of two, was brutally stabbed to death by her partner, who was cheating on his spouse. He learned of Bolden's status, decided to consent to sex with her one more time, then killed her, stating he wanted to "make her pay."

The risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex, according to the CDC is much less than the risk of HIV transmission through anal or vaginal sex. Bolden's murderer has remained to test negative for HIV. 

The tragedy is not just in the loss of life or innocent children losing a parent; but also in the ignorance behind the supposed "passion" of the murders. Assuming your own HIV status through discovery of someone else you may have had unprotected sex with is dangerous. The only way to know your status is to get tested.

These are not the only cases in which this is happening and not all of them end in death; however they are happening. Rapidly, quietly, dangerously. All the while, leaving the shadow of shame and stigma hovering over someone who has been diagnosed with HIV. How these cases are brought to light, handled and discussed plays a pivotal role in whether people will ever feel free to disclose their status and not face repercussions that could cause them their life. 

HIV is a manageable virus of the body that can be treated. No, there is still is not a cure, but there isn't a cure for the common cold and people aren't murdering each other over that either. 

Join emPOWERed Legacies, the Positive Women's Network and other agencies during October 23rd as we stand for those that can't and break the chains to end the culture of violence  and instead, support the laws, policies, programs and culture that promotes safety and healing from trauma for WLHIV.

As of right now, the solutions are to:

• repeal laws that place WLHIV at disproportionate risk for violence, including laws criminalizing HIV, drug use, and sex work
• demand implementation of trauma-informed services and programs for WLHIV
• advance partnerships and linkages between HIV and domestic violence services
• support economic empowerment and self-sufficiency for WLHIV
• Share this blog and other posts on PWN's websites using the hashtag #endvawhiv and #pwnspeaks
  • Retweet PWN by following them @uspwn and myself @mrs_kam
  • Participate in the national conversation beyond October 23rd

Together, we will come up with more solutions. Together we will end the violence. Together we will stand and the world will see us. We are HERE! See us LIVE!

How to Get Away With...Getting Tested

You guysssss!!!

The season premier of How to Get Away with Murder #HTGAWM!! 

*gasp*

*shudder*

*face palm*

*jaw drop*

And this was probably before the first commercial break. I don't want to give away any spoilers, and I don't do recaps, but I will disclose that Shonda Rhimes addressing #HIV in a relationship was genius. I don't watch a lot of television, but when I do, sadly 90% of a season for a show will involve two consenting adults having probable unprotected sex. A lot of drama ensues, maybe a pregnancy scare, sometimes a murder...but hardly ever the issue of contracting or transmitting HIV. Without giving away who has it or why it was discussed, I will say that this episode made me so proud of the strides we are taking in HIV awareness, prevention, treatment and research. 

Here's a breakdown of the conversations that took place. They didn't overwhelm the scene with melancholy and was handled so realistically, I applauded. If up to this point, you have not seen this episode, it is a spoiler; however not a spoiler to the main plots and twists of the show. 

Season 1
Oliver suggested Connor, who often engaged in risky sex to get tested for HIV. Connor tested negative and Oliver tested positive. This helped dismantle preconceptions about who has HIV and bring to light the dangers of testing yourself through your partner. 

Season 2 Episode 1
Conner stands in front of Oliver naked and ready to have sex. Oliver suggests they wait 2 weeks to allow #PrEP to reach its maximum protection. Conner says "I really want to be here... more than anything, even if it means being celibate for 14 more days." This part of the conversation introduces to people that the pill is not an instant cure-all, it is a effective prevention method used to reduce the transmission of HIV and is approved by the FDA.

Oliver then says with a smirk, "13 more days. You took your 1st pill last Sunday at 9:30."

Thank you Shonda Rhimes and Peter Nowalk for your de-stigmatizing portrayal of sexual responsibility. I want to know, has the conversation of sexual responsibility gone this smoothly for you? Is this realistic? Lemme know!

Sidenote: Catch Shonda on the cover of Essence magazine and then turn to page 117 to read more about how HIV intersects with intimate partner violence. THIS sheds light on how the above post could have turned out completely different (and has for many people living with HIV).